Experiencing the loss of a pet is one of the most difficult experiences a person can go through, especially when it happens unexpectedly at home. I understand this pain firsthand, and I'd like to share my own story with you.
My heart and soul dog, Bauer, had been diagnosed with suspected nasal cancer. Even though he had a terminal disease, his death came suddenly and unexpectedly. You see, I didn’t euthanize him, instead, I returned home from an appointment to find him passed away in his bed. The shock and grief were overwhelming.
At that moment, I realized I needed time - time to process, time to say goodbye, and time to come to terms with this loss, and I ended up staying with his body for the following 24 hours. During this time, I memorialized him, reflected on our journey together, and just gave myself the space I needed to grieve – to bawl my eyes out, to feel the love I had for him, and to say goodbye on my own terms, in my own way.
The photo accompanying this blog is the very last picture taken of Bauer and me. This grainy, final selfie of us together has become one of my most precious memories and it’s a photo I cherish deeply. Even if others may find it a little weird, “you took a picture of yourself with your dead dog?”, it serves as a testament to the love and connection we shared, even after he was gone.
When a pet dies at home, people often don’t know what to do or what to expect. And I totally get that. I hope this guide provides you the compassionate, practical advice needed to help you navigate this situation. Whether you prefer immediate assistance or want more time to say goodbye, like I did with Bauer, I hope the following information helps you understand what to expect and how to care for your pet (and yourself) following their death.
Take a moment to process:
It's okay to take some time to sit with your emotions. The loss of a pet is a significant event, and it's natural to feel shocked, devastated, or overwhelmed. Allow yourself the time needed to grieve before moving forward with the more practical steps. There’s time.
Confirm your pet has passed:
While it may be difficult, it's important to gently check for signs of life. This process can be emotional, but it's a necessary step. Here's what to look for:
- Breathing: Watch closely for any chest movement or air from the nose.
- Heartbeat: Place your ear against the left side of your pet's chest, just behind the front leg. In a quiet room, you may be able to hear or feel a heartbeat if one is present.
- Eye response: Gently touch the corner of your pet's eye. In a living animal, this would normally cause a blink or slight movement.
It's important to note that small muscle tremors or twitches can occur after death due to the relaxation of muscles and nerves. These should not be mistaken for signs of life. These involuntary movements are a natural part of the process and don't indicate consciousness or pain.
If you're unsure about any of these signs or if you feel too overwhelmed to check yourself, don't hesitate to contact your veterinarian for guidance on the best next steps. They can either guide you through the process over the phone or help arrange for a professional to come to your home to confirm.
Caring for your pet's body with dignity:
Once you've confirmed your pet has passed, there are some important steps to take:
- You can gently close your pet's eyes if they're open. However, be aware that sometimes a pet's eyes may remain partially open after death. This is normal and doesn't always indicate discomfort or that something is wrong.
- Be prepared for potential bodily fluids. It's natural for a pet's body to release urine or feces after passing. There might also be some fluid from the nose or mouth.
- Carefully wrap your pet in a soft blanket or towel. This provides a sense of comfort and containment. If you have a pet “potty pad” in your home, you can place this under your pet’s rear quarters for additional protection.
- If possible, place your pet's body in a cool area of your home. This helps slow down the natural processes that occur after death.
Moving your pet:
- For smaller pets, gently lift them while supporting their head and body.
- For larger pets that are too heavy for you to carry alone:
- Use a sheet or blanket as a sling. Place the sheet under your pet's body.
- With a person on each end, lift the sheet to create a hammock-like carrier.
- This method distributes the weight and makes it easier to move your pet, especially if you need to bring them from outdoors to inside.
- If you're alone, you can use the sheet to gently slide your pet across smooth surfaces.
Understand the timeline:
It's important to make arrangements relatively quickly, as natural processes begin soon after your pet passes. Here's what you might expect:
- Within 1-2 hours: The body will start to feel cooler to the touch.
- Around 3-4 hours: Rigor mortis (stiffening of the body) begins to set in, usually starting with the limbs and jaw.
12-24 hours: Rigor mortis is typically fully set.
24-48 hours: The body begins to soften again as rigor mortis subsides. - After 8-24 hours: You may notice changes in odor. This process can be faster in warmer environments or slower in cooler ones. The amount of bodily fluids produced and size of your pet, with smaller pets typically “smelling less” than larger pets, are other factors. With Bauer, I began to notice changes in odor after about 12 hours, but it wasn’t anything that was offensive, just different.
These timelines can vary based on factors such as your pet's size, the surrounding temperature, and any underlying health conditions they may have had.
To care for your pet with dignity and make the process easier for yourself, it's best to make aftercare arrangements within the first 24 hours if possible. If you need more time, keeping your pet's body in a cool environment (like a garage or basement in mild weather, or using ice packs) can help slow these natural processes.
Explore aftercare options
There are several ways to handle your pet's remains:
- Pet Cremation: Many people choose this option. Search for "pet cremation services" in your area to find reputable providers. Honor Pet offers water cremation, which is an earth-friendly alternative to traditional fire cremation.
- Home Burial: Check local regulations first, as this isn't legal everywhere. For more information on home burial, read our blog here.
- Cemetery Burial: Some areas have pet cemeteries that offer body burial services.
Seek professional assistance if needed
Companies like Honor Pet are able to help with deceased pet transport, respectfully moving your pet from your home and arranging for pet cremation services. We understand how difficult this time is and we take every measure to ensure your pet is cared for with gentleness and dignity.
Finding a pet crematorium
When the time comes to choose a pet crematorium, it's important to find a reputable and compassionate service. Here are some steps to help you locate the right option:
- Search online: Use search terms like "pet cremation near me" or "pet cremation services [your city]" to find local options. This can give you a good starting point for your search.
- Ask your veterinarian: Your vet likely has experience with local pet cremation services and can provide trusted recommendations. They may even be able to assist with arrangements.
- Check with emergency veterinary clinics: Pet emergency rooms often have relationships with cremation services that can provide quick assistance, even outside of regular business hours.
- Seek recommendations from friends or family: If you know someone who has gone through the loss of a pet, they might be able to share their experience with local cremation services.
Read online reviews: Once you have a list of potential crematoriums, look for reviews on platforms like Google, Yelp, or Facebook. Pay attention to comments about the staff's compassion, the facility's cleanliness, and the overall experience of other pet owners.
Contact the crematoriums directly: Don't hesitate to call and ask questions about their services, pricing, and processes. A reputable service will be transparent and patient with your inquiries.
Consider the services offered: As shared, some crematoriums offer additional services like home pickup in addition to private cremation or memorial products. Think about what's important to you in this process.
Create a meaningful memorial
Creating a memorial for your pet can be a comforting part of the grieving process. When I lost Bauer, I found solace in creating tangible memories. I left him for a short while to make a quick trip to the art store. I bought supplies to make clay prints of all 4 of his paws as well as a plaster kit so I could make a cast of his head; I wanted to always be able to kiss that kissable nose that I loved so much. Here are some ideas to consider while your pet is still in the home:
- Make pawprints
- Create a plaster cast
- Take final photos
- Collect a lock of fur
- Allow other pets to say goodbye: I let my other dog, Dharma, spend some time with Bauer after he passed. This helped her understand what had happened and begin her own grieving process. Remember, our pets grieve too and need closure. It’s a bittersweet memory, but I’ll never forget how she continued to bring his favorite tennis ball to him, dropping it by his head.
- Write a thank you or goodbye letter to express your feelings, memories, and love.
Take care of yourself in the process
Grief can be exhausting. Remember to:
- Stay hydrated and try to eat, even if you don't feel like it
- Get outdoors and breathe fresh air
- Reach out to supportive friends or family
- Consider joining a pet bereavement support group, either in person or online
Give yourself time
There's no set timeline for grief. Be patient and gentle with yourself as you navigate this loss. It's okay to have good days and bad days. It’s OK to not be OK.
I hope this guide helps you with practical advice around knowing what to do and what to expect should your pet die at home. From walking you through the immediate steps to take, including how to confirm your pet had passed and how to care for their body with dignity, to providing insights into the natural processes that occur after death, helping you understand what to expect in the hours and days following your pet's passing.
By balancing practical considerations with emotional needs, this guide sought to empower you to navigate this challenging time on your own terms, whether you chose to spend extended time with your pet or needed to make arrangements quickly. And most importantly, I wanted to reassure you that there's no "right" way to handle this situation, encouraging you to honor your pet and your relationship in a way that feels most meaningful to you.